Thanks for the reply,

She does not eat between meals, when she does eat it is very little and she appears to be cutting calories (toast without butter, salad without dressing) and then she claims that she likes it that way. (!) This is very different than her former self.

She is very secretive, for example says that she does not read food labels, but I found 6 out of 6 cereal boxes in the cupboard with all the labels facing outward. what are the chances?

Any attempted discussion of her food intake ends in an emotional disaster for everyone. However in many other daily activities seems to act perfectly normal and even likes to help cook meals.

It is very hard to deal with and equally hard to discuss wih others ; it seems so simple "you know, just make her eat"
A condition like a broken leg is easily understood by everybody and impossible to deny. But this is different.

We are very comfortable with our medical team they are experienced with this condition and work well together.

I have to remind myself that this is a mental condition with physical symptoms (not eating) and secondary symptoms (starvation).

The strategy of our medical team seems to be: the dietician's job is to help prevent any permanant physical damage due to starvation until the head- doctor can straighten out the root problem. And if she loses too much weight, measured by weekly weigh-ins at the doctors office, she gets committed to a childrens hospital for an extended period of time (one month is common).

UPDATE: we just got back from the weigh-in at the doctors office-- lost 4# in the last week. going to the childrens hospital. I guess she needs more help than we can provide at home.