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Moving through procrastination not easily but expensively

I've just finished reading an article posted up on the davidco.com website from a coach Meg Edwards about the issue she had with an engine light on her car. She talks about the anxiety it created and from what I've read it seems the cost as apposed to the planning of the next action steps that put her off talking this issue.

I then remembered a massive event very similar to this that happened to me BUT the outcome wasn't as satisfying and nor did I feel happier with myself.

You see this happened around 3 years ago and as I look back now was only one of many ridiculous events in my life where sticking my head in the sand really didn't work.

I owned a Mitsubishi, one of those rally types. I imported it into the UK as I couldn't wait for Mitusbishi UK to finalise their partnership with an importer. I was desperate for this car. It was so new that they hadn't even decided how often you needed to get it serviced.

To cut a very long story short this car drank oil closely to how fast it drank fuel. It did have an engine oil light but would only come on when the car became dangerously low. Advice given to me was to check the oil monthly. I didn't. I waited for the oil light to tell me when the car needed oil after all thats what the light is there for. Of course everything would be fine. That was a mistake. I knew in the back of my mind (hey it reminded me) to check the oil monthly but I simply ignored it. The engine blew up. After a very expensive bill the engine was rebuilt and the keys handed back to me.

The crazy thing that I still can't explain this is I didn't learn my lesson. I STILL didn't check the oil monthly despite the gapping hole in my finances. Six months later the engine blew up again. The engine was rebuilt and I vowed to myself never again. Twelve months later the engine went again and it was time to sell it even in its current state. I couldn't aford the get it repaired.

That was three years ago and I've only just discovered GTD. I'm half way through the book. I've got the audio CD's and listen to these at every opportunity I can. Forget the Rocky CD in the gym - I listen to this :-)

Anyway I've come to realise that I CAN plan tasks down to the last detail in my head. I can break it down into small baby steps BUT (and this is where I'm not sure GTD can help me) I fail time and time again to perform the step no matter how small.

Why is this? I've tried to ask myself is it because I'm afraid of what changes will have to happen to my life as a result of doing this. What is wrong with me that results in me doing something so small as replying to an email that does take less than two minutes to do?

I don't know. Is there anyone else out there that is similar?

Maybe the answers lie in the second half of the book and if they do I apologise.

Grateful for any help or reassurance that I don't need to go and see a shrink :o

JasonJ

GeekLady's picture

I have a couple of...

I have a couple of thoughts on your procrastination problem:

The short thought first.
It doesn't sound like you're actually writing down your next actions. Some people genuinely don't need to write down their next actions... but if you're not writing them down, and you're having trouble doing them, that's probably a sign to try something different. I've found it's much easier to procrastinate when I'm holding all of my next actions in my head - but when I have a tangible list, they seem much more do-able.

And now the long one.
It doesn't sound like you have trouble remembering the things you need to get done, just that you can't make yourself do them, and you're not sure why. I can't address your why, but I will comment on mine, in the hope that it will help you.

I was.. am scared of getting things done, because I don't know what will come after them. I am, in a sense, scared of my own competence. It's not that I can't get things done, but I don't know what will come next, and I just want to stay in my comfort zone of crisis cleaning, forgetting to get groceries, not taking care of our only car, and stressing over getting my work done in the lab. I dragged tasks that needed to be done out as long as possible, and postponed anything that could be postponed, for the comfort of knowing I had something else that needed to be done.

You just can't live like that forever.

What is helping me (and is actually discussed, a little, in the 2nd half of the book) is the ability to use GTD to focus on bigger pictures. As I get more of my low level stuff put away, I have more time to think about what I want to do with my life, besides pay the last of my hospital bills. I've gotten most of the big pieces of junk off my runway, so now I'm starting at 50,000 feet and trying to land. Which, if you don't know how to fly a plane, is scary as hell, but you have to do it because eventually you'll run out of gas. and at least I won't run into derelicts sitting on the runway.

 
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