I'm using the "cycle" method recommended in Thomas Limoncelli's book "Time Management for System Administrators." Sample chapter is available here: http://www.oreilly.com/catalog/timemgmt/.

For whatever reason, his system clicks with me and so my next-action lists have more traction now. Every night, I go into my office at home, unpack my planner, and see what I've written down that needs to be done tonight. I'm relieved of the duty of deciding what to do next because someone (ie, my more rational self who thinks long-term) had the foresight to think about what needed doing for the week and to write it out for me so I don't have to think about it again.

But that's what's working for me right now. Will it work for me 6 months from me? We'll see.

On a different tack: it sounds like you need to do a little thinking about how you can force yourself to "trip over" your lists when you need to. (Something like memotome.com, if you know you'll check your email at home?)

Or it may be that weeknights are family time and weekends should be the designated @home time. Maybe just doing one thing off the @home list per night is enough.

This sounds suspiciously like a "personal suck" that Merlin talks about here:
http://www.43folders.com/2005/01/15/patching-your-personal-suck/

Maybe you need to just sit and think about tricks haven't worked for you and why.

Good luck -- meb