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Tips on becoming a better listener
Merlin Mann | Jul 10 2006
When we meet, you and I, you will see for yourself one of my most humiliating traits. No it's not my acromegaly, my plaid pants, nor my atrocious hairpiece. No, friend, you will be deeply annoyed to hear me ask you to repeat your name at least twice, and possibly five times, during our inaugural conversation. And, in subsequent meetings, even though your face will be forever etched upon my brain (a skill at which I absolutely excel), I will probably call you "Champ," "Chief," or possibly "Tex." Because, yes, I will have completely forgotten your name. And it's not just a bad memory that's to blame here (although, of course, my memory sucks, too) -- I'm convinced it's because I am a terrible listener, and because I suffer intermittent encoding errors at the time data is written to disk, so to speak. In working to improve this socially-crippling liability, in general -- to hear what people are really saying rather than just using the down time to formulate a pseudo-clever response -- I've begun skimming the web for advice. I have these sites and tips to share with you so far, so listen up! From Becoming a Better Listener:
From The Top 10 Tips for Becoming a Better Listener:
From BookRags: How to Be a Better Listener Article:
From How can you listen better? - workopolis.com:
How'd you become a good listener? Got a good trick that put you on the right track to hearing people more and better? 33 Comments
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Listening is about taking time...Submitted by Teo Zilla (not verified) on July 10, 2006 - 9:02am.
Listening is about taking time and being deliberate. Success comes easily when you take a moment to remind yourself you are getting inside someone else's point of view, to let that be important. Sounds like psychobabble, I know, but most of the skills of good listening work pretty naturally in this context. Like a good golf swing or a martial arts punch, it's easier to think of starting the movement in the right place than to think of it as a collection of discrete steps. This is in stark contrast to remembering people's names. I can forget them regardless of my desire to remember. I don't think name-recall is only a function of listening quality. I can leave a conversation in which I learned a lot about someone, except their name. I can even recall this weeks or months later... sans name. Remembering names is highly amenable to techniques. I learned some power name-remembering techniques while "floating" (assigned to work randomly) on nine psychiatric hospital units -- sometimes had to learn 25-30 names in a day. The best techniques I found mostly consisted of playing name games like JoAnna mentioned or those you listed above. I seem to be a visual learner too, so I'd superimpose the face of someone else I knew with the same name. If I didn't know another name, I'd make up a more elaborate mnemonic. For example, I'd remember your name with the mnemonic The Mage and the Motorcycle. Merlin (famous wizard) Mann (the Isle of Man TT is a crazy motorcycle race). Sounds weird, but the image of Merlin (the wizard) on a Ducati in a tight curve is hard to forget. » POSTED IN:
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